I have felt that in the game of shoots and ladders I am far from being a master. I like to be the captian of my own ship and so I get annoyed when people tell me what to do. I mean my business is none of their business really. My social skills may be okay, but it is really hard to make new friends. Most people are settled into a social group already and aren't open to letting new people into their lives. Luckily I've got something going with some people in Chico, but just like a human being I want more. Like a girl friend. It's like I feel that I can only know them around town and if I ask them out and hit on them it always seems doomed. But I must keep trying and failing, because that is my way. My bruises heal and I am stronger and more determined than before.