Lately I have been desiring first rate comedians in my existence.

Here are some jokes I just made up.
 
When she shook her boobs at my face, my head fell off and rolled down the red carpet and into a tray.
 
What America needs are some really cool Obama sweat pants.
 
What's fat, farts loudly and is constantly yelling weird slogans?   Give up?
 
If the church had need of a dollar for the establishment of a stronger dollar than we would have to invest our beliefs into more productive labor.  Not laughing?
 
Over and out.